It's 12:42, just woke up, with this strange feeling. No strange noises coming from the living room, no car engines, or laughing people outside. Not even a "you got a message" sound either on MSN or on my telephone.
Just silence.
Try to make everything different by playing some music on Urge player. Ok, some noise. Meanwhile I realize that i just want to stay in bed, maybe watch some tv, or even clean the house... no, not really, just stay here doing nothing, is that what people call depression? why do we associatte depression with crying? can someone be depressed withouth crying?
I was crying the other day and started thinking about the purpose of crying. Why do we cry (as a biological entity)? I was just trying to figure that out, but abandoned the idea, anyways I'm not making a breakthrough by finding out. Yesterday while I was in class we were talking about the nervous system, emotions, thoughts and then all of a sudden the instructor says that we are the only species that cry due to feelings, other animals secrete tears to prevent infections or to make bugs go away, but not because of pain or sadness. "Nobody knows why would our evolution made us do that, but probably was just a mutation that just kept going through generations" and finishes with "Now we know that crying increases reproductive success in humans...that's the only function that we could find for crying" so crying is a mutation, quite weird I may say. Then some minutes later we were talking about hickups and what they are, when I asked "what is the function of hickups?" answering me with a gentle "not everything has a function, son". Two times in a same class to make me feel in the mood for thinking.
So, why do we cry? Why should I know?
What is a hickup? Who cares?
What is a feeling? Don't fuckin know.
Why do I want to cry now? Maybe because I'm listening to the song that most effcectively moves feelings in me in the sad part.
"Rain down, rain down on me
from a great height, from a great height...
god loves his children, god loves his children, yeah (right)"